Always let the Main Thing remain the main thing!
Today I leave Cape Town and head on home. Leaving my Janni at the hospital was one of those terribly hard things that I have had to do.
Being a big sister, there is an unspoken rule, that says..."always look out for your little sister" Living through this time with Jan has been so very difficult on so many levels! As I sit here, I have no idea how to articulate how I am feeling. I said to Dawn this morning that I have so much anger on the inside of me, I feel like I am spoiling for a fight. But the big sister in me, tells me to calm down, take a few breathes and focus on Jesus.
I find myself constantly having to remind myself to find my Jesus in this moment. I know that He is with me always, just as He is with my Jan. I also know that I am not my Janni's saviour, that is Jesus' job. But it is difficult to let go!
Losing our little Zac has really rocked my world. It has caused me to focus, and really look at what is important in my life.
What are my values?
Is the Main Thing, the main thing?
What is the main thing?
I have come to realise that the main thing for me is my family. Not just my immediate family, but my entire family.
In my thoughtful moments, I have asked myself the hard questions, that I think that we all need to ask ourselves. What's important.
For me, I have come to realise that it is not the things that I have around me, and the goodies that I want to get. It is my precious family that means the world to me. These are the treasures that Daddy had placed around me.
The Holy Spirit is gently showing me, how I need to give control of the unknown over to Him, and to trust Him wholly. I must say that at this point I am finding that so hard to do. But I am also mindful that it is also a process that can't be rushed, and that I am not walking on this road alone, my Precious Jesus is with me.
I also wanted to let you know that our Janni is doing well. She is so at peace, her faith in Jesus has been such a testimony. It has been unwaivering. She has a peace about her that is tangible. When I was in the room, I could honestly feel Jesus standing there. At one point, just after we heard the news, Janni, Tianna and I were in the room, praying, As I closed my eyes, I saw Jesus standing at the foot of the bed with our sweet boy safely in His arms!
Friends we serve such an awesome God. We may not always understand why things happen, but this I know, nothing takes Him by surprise! He knows everything, and He loves us with such in intensity!!
Praise our Almighty God today, for your precious friends and family! They are around you for a specific God ordained reason. Celebrate them!
I am so grateful that I have not been alone here in Cape Town, My Dawn has been with me every step of the way (and let me tell you, Daw and I have allot of history, that is most defiantly a blog for another time, BUT God! He has performed such a miracle in our own lives. This woman, has my back, I trust her with my life). She has been such a rock!
Dawn I honor you, my friend! I love you!
Today I leave Cape Town and head on home. Leaving my Janni at the hospital was one of those terribly hard things that I have had to do.
Being a big sister, there is an unspoken rule, that says..."always look out for your little sister" Living through this time with Jan has been so very difficult on so many levels! As I sit here, I have no idea how to articulate how I am feeling. I said to Dawn this morning that I have so much anger on the inside of me, I feel like I am spoiling for a fight. But the big sister in me, tells me to calm down, take a few breathes and focus on Jesus.
I find myself constantly having to remind myself to find my Jesus in this moment. I know that He is with me always, just as He is with my Jan. I also know that I am not my Janni's saviour, that is Jesus' job. But it is difficult to let go!
Losing our little Zac has really rocked my world. It has caused me to focus, and really look at what is important in my life.
What are my values?
Is the Main Thing, the main thing?
What is the main thing?
I have come to realise that the main thing for me is my family. Not just my immediate family, but my entire family.
In my thoughtful moments, I have asked myself the hard questions, that I think that we all need to ask ourselves. What's important.
For me, I have come to realise that it is not the things that I have around me, and the goodies that I want to get. It is my precious family that means the world to me. These are the treasures that Daddy had placed around me.
The Holy Spirit is gently showing me, how I need to give control of the unknown over to Him, and to trust Him wholly. I must say that at this point I am finding that so hard to do. But I am also mindful that it is also a process that can't be rushed, and that I am not walking on this road alone, my Precious Jesus is with me.
I also wanted to let you know that our Janni is doing well. She is so at peace, her faith in Jesus has been such a testimony. It has been unwaivering. She has a peace about her that is tangible. When I was in the room, I could honestly feel Jesus standing there. At one point, just after we heard the news, Janni, Tianna and I were in the room, praying, As I closed my eyes, I saw Jesus standing at the foot of the bed with our sweet boy safely in His arms!
Friends we serve such an awesome God. We may not always understand why things happen, but this I know, nothing takes Him by surprise! He knows everything, and He loves us with such in intensity!!
Praise our Almighty God today, for your precious friends and family! They are around you for a specific God ordained reason. Celebrate them!
I am so grateful that I have not been alone here in Cape Town, My Dawn has been with me every step of the way (and let me tell you, Daw and I have allot of history, that is most defiantly a blog for another time, BUT God! He has performed such a miracle in our own lives. This woman, has my back, I trust her with my life). She has been such a rock!
Dawn I honor you, my friend! I love you!
Have the most wonderful day today (^^,)
Chat soon, sweet friends
Niqui xx
Dearest Niqui
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful big sister you have been to Janine! I know you are angry and hurt and there are many questions rallying around in your head - but I want to encourage you to continue to trust and have faith! Satan does not like families staying together and praying together when they go through challenges - be strong, walk tall and put him under your feet - one foot at a time!
This probably isn't the time to talk about every cloud having a silver lining .... but dear friend, I have to look at the positive side to this in that so many people throughout the world have been affected by this journey of Faith! It has caused many people to question where they are with their walk, the seriousness of their walk and also brought people closer to our Jesus with their ultimate commitment to the most High God. The closeness and love that your family has shared through this journey has certainly encouraged me - Yes, there ARE many questions and lots we cannot answer .. but I stand Firm on His Word in Faith - this journey has made me a stronger person as I am sure it has had the same effect on many more. Bless you and your family xx I will continue to pray for Janine and those close to her for peace and comfort through this difficult time.
I love you more than you will ever know my sis. You have been there for me in my hardest moments. Your courage to walk through the fire with me is a reward that surely awaits you in Heaven. I love you. Thank you for everything. You are always so dependable in so many ways xoxox
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